I cut my hair short in about 2018, and I couldn’t find any articles telling me what to expect other than ‘You’ll feel sexier!’ which is thoroughly useless to me (though it may be true for you, so I’ve saved you reading those articles). So here’s the article I wish I had.
For reference, my hair is very thick and decently wavy (about a 2B I think), and it was about halfway down my back when I cut it. I am also not a hair specialist and I generally dislike spending any time dealing with it (one reason for cutting it in the first place!).
Hairdressers aren’t always comfortable with non-feminine short hairstyles
I used my hairdresser for the initial cut and walked out… not amazingly happy. “Short” for hairdressers is not short enough for me, someone who wanted something more typically masculine. They can manage a pixie cut, or a Karen cut, they can make you look like your grandma, but they have not yet worked out how to use anything other than scissors. If you want short-short, you need hair clippers, and for those you need to either know to specify (what the hell are clippers anyway, is that seriously the right word?), or go to the barbers.
After about a month, I got my hair cut at my dad’s barbers, and walked out feeling much better, and much more me, with much less faff.
Beginner’s Guide to Guard Numbers
When you go to the barbers, they go ‘whadaya want,’ and you, a first-timer, look at them blankly like, ‘a haircut.’ Avoid this and know what the hell barbers do. Here’s a quick guide:
Barbers cut your hair with those buzzy things, called hair clippers (I would call them something better, like buzzers, clipper seems too tame). By default, they’ll cut your hair to a buzz cut, practically down to the skin (don’t worry, the blades can’t cut you), so to achieve different lengths reliably, you use guards. These are attachments that put some distance between your scalp and the business end of the clippers. Guard numbers are the number one way you communicate with your barber with regards to length. Lets break them down:
The guard number counts how many eighths of an inch long your hair will end up. The bigger the number, the longer your hair will be. Now you may find it difficult to bring out the ruler and visualise a hair length, so here’s my vibe-based impressions.
The first haircut I got at my barbers was a ‘4 back and sides’. This means they take the clippers only to the back and sides of my head, leaving the top, which I usually ask to just have trimmed (this is the part I still need to perfect my language for, they always trim it too short). This gave me the length I wanted right out of the gate, but my hair grows quickly, and it got too long before the month was over.
Next time I got a 3, and though it’s a bit short for me in the first week, it’s not over-the-top and it doesn’t get unruly between cuts! This is my normal haircut now. It’s pretty short, but not enough to see skin, and is about as short as you can get without getting into that sort of area.
2s are apparently the standard for crew cuts, i.e. noticeably short, though bear in mind you don’t have to have the same length all the way round if you’re not a crew cut person. This would be too short for me, but if you want something on the short and severe end this may be as long as you would want to go.
1s are as short as guards tend to go. They’re used a lot for fades, undercuts, anything that needs short-short-short. Too long? Maybe give the guard a miss entirely and ask for a 0.
I’ve never got anything longer than a 4, but 5s and up will leave a substantial amount of hair, probably enough to start styling to an increasing degree, if that’s your aim; at some point the hair will start flowing rather than sticking out and looking shaved. I’m not sure when exactly that is, but it’s definitely before you hit an 8 (8/8s = 1 inch!). I might get the ruler out once my hair has grown back out a bit post-haircut to check. Speaking of…
You’ll need more frequent haircuts
Your hair doesn’t grow more quickly when it’s short, but it feels that way because it’s much more noticeable. One week post-trim and one month post-trim can be wildly different, so you’ll have to rethink your haircut schedule.
When I had long hair, it got cut about once every six months. Now the ideal is once a month. I just got back from the barbers after leaving it for about four months (I was at uni and didn’t want to find a new barber here, I’m normal dw abt it) and Man… it was far, far too long. Gave the clippers a run for their money too. Realistically I could leave it maybe 6 weeks after a cut before it gets too far away from what I want. Your hair may be different, so the first few months will be feeling it out.
The good thing about barbers is they don’t require booking a month in advance… (many accept walk-ins, no appointment needed at all!)
You’ll need less shampoo
‘Yeah, obviously—’ No, I’m not kidding. Reduce that shampoo amount severely. I know you’re meant to only use enough shampoo to deal with your scalp but who am I kidding I had so much hair that was NOT what was happening. I was using enough to almost cover the centre of my palm (though I have admittedly small hands). First hair wash, I was just drowning in suds, just absolutely covered. It was in my face, my eyes, all over my hands, just everywhere. It was like a Year 6 disco where they’ve brought out the foamy bubble gun with no regard for the consequences.
Obviously the amount you’ll need with vary for you hair type, but I use about enough to cover… I don’t know, two sections of my index finger. In reality, I use a dry shampoo bar from Lush, which makes life easier ‘cause I can just rub it into my hair until it all feels shampooed. Reduce the amount of conditioner too while you’re at it. I also used to have to shampoo twice just to get everything. No longer!
Or ignore me and enter the foam zone, it’s fun while your airways are clear.
Regularity of hair washing may change
It may not, but given there’s less length for your hair’s natural oils to cover, the optics of it all are less forgiving for greasy hair. Then again, hats can now cover most of it. I can barely get away with the recommended every-other-day hair wash, so I give up on such concepts as ‘good hair care’ and ‘listening to advice’ and just wash it every day, admittedly with the one shampoo rather than my long-haired two. Conditioner is good for keeping it from drying out too much.
Bedheads are a real phenomenon for real people
Yeah no I wasn’t convinced people got proper bedheads; my hair only ever got tangled while I was asleep, it was never all over the place Anna Frozen style. Cut to me every morning now and yeah the hair needs addressing.
Luckily, addressing is super quick and easy, and if you already have morning showers will not require a change to your routine. Forget shower caps. Get your hair soaked through, even if you don’t want to wash it. This will essentially factory reset your hair. If you try hitting it with a comb, brush, gel, or light spray, you’ll be there all day. Just get it wet. Don’t want a morning shower? Soak it in the sink or something! If your spray can offload massive volumes of water go for that! Trust me!
Now you may be thinking ‘oh, but my hair has an incredible water capacity, it’ll be wet for hours—’ WRONG, NEXT SLIDE:
It will dry much more quickly
Depending on how short you go, it will be bone dry five minutes after a towel dry. Seriously. When my hair was long, it was like a tap. I’d go swimming and then be dripping chlorinated water from my ponytail for the next TWO HOURS. Got my hair cut WHAM dryness is now real and achievable, a 5 minute craft of a thing, no longer a Whole Thing to organise a day around.
Now, I never used hair driers. My hair just doesn’t benefit from it, maybe because of its tendency for frizziness (also less of an issue now it’s short), I can’t remember. I’m a towel it and then let it air dry kinda guy, a who cares kinda person. We’ve established my priority is lack of effort. So I can’t say how hair driers will go for you, but I’m willing to bet your hair will be bone dry in about three minutes, maybe less.
The longer your hair, the longer it will take. When you cut it much shorter than it was, you will see God embodied in the temporal plane.
End Notes
Was that helpful? Was that revolutionary? Do you feel educated in a functional, down to Earth way? Were you horrified by my hair care strategies? Learn from my mistakes, learn from my experiences, learn more than simply ‘you will feel sexier,’ and my work shall have been worth it.